Wish
by Elena Katine
Summary: ~~Part Four Posted!! (finally...) A series of brief little angst pieces, switching between Riku's and Sora's POV. **Warning: Shounen-ai ahead!**
1. Destroy

Part One: Destroy  
  
  
  
"I don't care about him."  
  
Of course I don't. I can also lie through my teeth; since meeting Maleficent, it seems that particular skill of mine has been tested constantly. And why not? As long as it keeps him alive, I don't see that it matters.   
  
I knew that something was going to happen, that long-ago day (or was it really so long ago? I can't remember) on the Destiny Islands. The very day that I tried so hard to confess my feelings with that paupu fruit... "If two people share it, their destinies become intertwined." Indeed.  
  
That seems a good word to describe my current situation. Intertwined. I am too deeply wrapped around Maleficent's finger to do much good to anyone but her; my heart refuses to undo the knot it has made around Sora, that insufferable, foolish, stubborn, Keyblade master of a best friend.   
  
"I can grant you your dearest wish..."  
  
As if she could understand my dearest wish. Why I would fall for someone like Sora, constantly throwing himself into the line of fire, acting like nothing more than cannon fodder, too damn courageous for his own good... no, someone like Maleficent couldn't understand why. Hell, I can't understand why. All I know is that if something ever happened to Sora, I think I would just die.   
  
Damned epiphanies.   
  
And what about Kairi? I /am/ worried about her, in my own way, and I /do/ care about her. Just not as much.  
  
Every time I try to think about her, to worry about her and try to find a way to get her back, it's /his/ blue eyes I end up seeing, his laugh I end up hearing, his voice and the way his laugh seemed to fill the air around him with light.   
  
I want to reach to him, to hold him and tell him that it's alright, that he doesn't have to continue this fool's errand, that we can just find Kairi and go home and everything will go back to the way it was.  
  
The way it was...  
  
  
  
  
A/N: Well, since it seems that I'm unable to write anything decently lately unless it's first-person perspective... *sigh* I tried to get the quotes as accurate as possible to the game; any mistakes I made are my fault entirely. Hopefully the next Kingdom Hearts piece I write can actually be non-first-person... *shrug* Well, tell me what you think! 


	2. Create

Part Two: Create  
  
  
  
We can never go back to the way we were. I'll never be able to tell if Riku is on our side or not, no matter how much my heart is telling me to trust him. He could probably have a knife to my throat and I wouldn't be able to bring myself to fight back, just because...  
  
I don't know what changed him, or why. All I do know is that he probably isn't on our side anymore. And if that's true, then my lifespan is probably considerably shorter.   
  
I could never beat him. Even when we were just sparring, he would always win. I could come close, sometimes, but I am quite far from his equal. And yet...  
  
And yet.  
  
When we were trapped inside Monstro, facing that Heartless monster that lay within the whale's stomach, we /were/ equals. We fought alongside each other for once, not against each other. I'm still not used to working as a team with Goofy and Donald, but with Riku, it's just so natural. So right.   
  
We didn't have to speak; he could tell what I planned to do and reacted accordingly. If I attacked from above, he slid in below and cut a bloody swath through the monster's belly. When I drew back, pausing to catch my breath, he picked up the slack. I still think of that all-too-brief moment fondly, the one time in recent memory that we were not rivals or enemies, but two perfectly-matched equals, two halves of a whole, two beings and two minds made one.   
  
In all the time that I have spent with Kairi, I have never felt such simple perfection as when I am with Riku. When we were still together on the Destiny Islands, however, I didn't notice it as much. And why should I? Our life was good; I spent the days with my two best friends, dreaming about distant shores, different worlds, places we would someday visit.   
  
I had not planned on our adventure being like this...  
  
  
  
  
A/N: And that's part two. In case you didn't guess, this one was Sora's perspective. That's my plan for the other parts of this - go back and forth between Riku's and Sora's perspective. *shrug* It might work. As always, comments are quite welcomed. 


	3. Hate

Part Three: Hate  
  
  
  
I hate myself for subjecting him to this. I can't help but feel that I'm at fault here somehow, that there was a way I could have prevented the whole thing at the Destiny Islands. That there was a way I could have protected him, from Maleficent, the Heartless, and myself. Yes, I believe he does need protection from me. It's becoming harder and harder to lie to Maleficent, to feign worry and distress over Kairi while wanting to scream at the top of my lungs for Sora and no one else.  
  
Now that's a visual to go to bed with, although I'd highly prefer to make /him/ scream. But I digress.  
  
I can't content myself with only little glimpses of him. That scene in Traverse Town was a mistake; I should have never gone. Better to live out my life serving Maleficent than to torture myself with infrequent glances and harsh words.   
  
I gave in to temptation yet again when he and his merry little band was trapped inside Monstro; when he oh-so-bravely chose to go up against the Heartless at the core of the beast, I couldn't help but jump in. I knew that he couldn't take it alone, if his sparring matches against me were any indication. Even those friends of his, whose names I cannot seem to recall, were no match for that particular brand of Heartless.   
  
But Sora and I together... oh, now that was a lethal combination! If I could ever catch him alone, we might be a lethal combination in other pursuits as well...  
  
And we can see where my mind is today.   
  
There's always that burning question - "what if he's in love with Kairi?" I don't think she's a threat to me. I have watched them - /him/ - extensively, during our idyllic childhood on the Destiny Islands, and there was nothing in the way they act towards each other to suggest anything more than a warm, comfortable friendship. However, one could say the same thing about Sora and myself.   
  
I, fortunately, know better.   
  
  
  
A/N: Woohoo! I like how Riku came out in this one... :) Part four, from Sora's POV, forthcoming... I just need to get inspired enough to write it. Later! 


	4. Love

Part Four: Love  
  
  
  
  
The stars are so brilliant tonight; it's enough to make me happy to forego a bit of sleep just so I can watch them for a while.   
  
Funny, how no matter where you are, the sky tends to look the same. In all of the worlds I've seen, the stars are one thing that remained constant. No matter where I am, I know I can just wait until nightfall and I'll be able to see something familiar.   
  
Look at me, waxing poetic about a bunch of brightly-colored dots. I guess that all people do it at some point or another... I mean, I'm sure I'm not the only one who's gone sappy looking up at the sky. At least, I hope not...   
  
/Star light, star bright.../   
  
They always remind me of Riku's eyes, intense and beautiful and yet somehow so distant, so removed from everything else that you have to wonder if they feel anything at all. I know I've wondered that about Riku more than once. And lately...  
  
/First star I see tonight.../  
  
There's so much to think about lately, and I'm not just talking about sealing the Keyholes in each world and all that. Things like that - real, tangible things - I can handle all right. And it's not like I'm alone when I do that; although they can offer precious little comfort to me on nights like this, Donald and Goofy are pretty much indispensible when fighting the Heartless.   
  
/I wish I may, I wish I might.../  
  
But at the end of the day, it still leaves a burning, gnawing emptiness inside of me, an emptiness that at times seems too much to bear alone. Those are the times when I think of Riku the most; when I sit outside and gaze at the sky for hours on end, just so I can be reminded of his eyes, when I tell myself that the wetness on my cheeks is just rain - harder to believe on clear nights - and crawl into bed only to lie awake for hours thinking fondly of some memory of he and I from our childhood...  
  
/Have this wish I wish tonight.../  
  
When I dream, it is his face that I see. When I wake, sometimes, I still think that I'm at home, that this whole adventure was one long, surreal dream (or perhaps, occasionally, a nightmare), and that I'll be able to see him whenever I want.   
  
But it's never real.  
  
  
  
  
A/N: *collapses* Gah... I practically had to tie myself to my keyboard so I would stop being lazy and just write this... Parts five and six are still forthcoming, and hopefully will take less time to get posted. 


End file.
